Loves Much Mentoring

Coming alongside those who are recovering their identity in Christ.

Love much because you’ve been forgiven much…

Luke 7:36-50

Throughout FMM’s history it has been sadly clear that the body of Christ hasn’t been a safe place to become authentically known. We haven’t been walking in our truest capability for intimacy. Changing that is our passion and FMM’s mission is to equip Christians for a shame free witness to make it so.

A vital part of reconciling humanity to God is discipleship.  The recovery field calls it sponsoring or mentoring.  In any case, there aren’t enough and that can’t remain unchanged on our watch.  Every follower of Jesus has a transformation story.

It’s their story of “I’m not my behaviors (past, present or future)” – 2 Cor. 5:16.  My behaviors are expressions of what’s going on inside of me and what’s going on inside of me is what the Holy Spirit is refining to conform into the image of Christ.  He’s chiseling off everything that doesn’t look like Him.  It’s the “follow me as I follow Jesus” refrain.  I’m not perfect yet.  I’ll mess up and when I do I have learned to keep a short list.  I’ll confess and repent aligning my loyalty to God and His righteousness.  And, you guessed it, sharing with another what He’s teaching you is a necessary component of becoming authentically known.  And voila, you’re a mentor!!

We need mentors to come alongside those who have stepped into recovering their identity in Christ.  They need engagement and encouragement to call them up to becoming all that God calls them to be, all while you are doing the same yourself.  One thing is clear, the Holy Spirit is adamant about chiseling off everything that doesn’t look like Jesus.

What does God want to do with you and your story?

Will you join us?

Foundational Information for Mentors on Core Issue Trauma Model Recovery

Core Issue Addiction Recovery Intro

Reflective Listening Exercise

LIFE Recovery Model

Cycle of Addiction

LRM Evaluation Tool

Cycle of Recovery

Below is the content included in the introductory email sent to those coming into recovery.  This is provided to you as background information and resources.

Hi!  We are delighted to walk alongside you and watch the Lord work in your life; there is so much hope for renewal!   Below are links that we mentioned on our call.  Please do not let this email overwhelm you.  I’ve attached the LIFE Recovery Sample Pack with Principle 1 Assignment 1.  The women’s group will be on Principle ___ this Monday.  We welcome new members at the opening of the group and you will be invited to share briefly about yourself if you’d like.  Then we follow with a few readings and then share our insights from our homework.   During the second hour we share a Reflective Listening exercise (either for that day or week) on a situation or relationship that is currently challenging us.  This helps to both practice processing and to “Get Current” with one another.  We close the group with our Top Lines (what we are shooting for that week), Bottom Lines (what we’re staying away from) and Sobriety; those definitions are in the back of the workbook.  All of this will be modeled and we give lots of grace in case you are uncomfortable with the “newness.”  Our zoom meeting link is at the bottom of this email and I’ll also send a Relay link to connect with our group chat on the recovery app.

Please save this email, if you print it as a pdf the hyperlinks should remain live.  Refer to it whenever you are led.  May you tap into the rich resources the Lord has made available to you.  Again, we couldn’t be more delighted about connecting you with the group.  Please let us know if we can help in any way.

God bless your day!


As a prerequisite to joining group, please view videos #5, #6, and #7 below.  I recommend multiple views of the LRM and Reflective Listening Exercise videos and printing the pdfs that are attached and linked to the workshop page.  The workbook you will use is linked on #10.

  1.  – Please review the ministry’s website; it’s pretty cool to see how the Lord has poured into this work over the years (i.e. problematic sexual behaviors, sex trafficking/demand reduction and God’s Design for Sexual Intimacy etc.).
  2. Free SAST – This Sexual Addiction Screening Test is the longstanding tool used and created by the clinical community.  Click here to download the pdf at the top right of the page, complete, scan and or take a photo and send to
  3.  USB Assessment – This Unwanted Sexual Behaviors Assessment will prove valuable as a tool to escalate your recovery as it provides vital family of origin information regardless of the type of unwanted behaviors present.  The USB Assessment is $29 and the information is well worth the expense.   Once completed, please forward your results to for assistance translating your assessment and developing your recovery plan next steps.
  4. Core Issue Addiction Recovery Training Videos  There are complete instructions for watching the videos to understand the format and layout of the videos for optimal use.  The Neurobiology of Addiction videos help us understand the origin of anxiety underlying problematic behaviors.  Below are basic video recommendations beneficial to expedite recovery:
  5. 00.1 Core Issue Addiction Recovery (CIAR) Introductory Video  – Explains the differences in recovery models.
  6. 00.3 LRM – L.I.F.E. Recovery Model  – Will outline what can be expected on the trauma model/core issue addiction recovery journey to wholeness.
  7. 00.5 Reflective Listening Exercise  – This exercise is vital to recovery and will be reinforced throughout your journey to obtain healthy intimacy and emotional resilience skills.  Please see the Reflective Listening instructions, single worksheet, boundaries, desires and emotions with intensifiers in the attachments along with other communication resources.
  8. 05 Cycle of Addiction (full video) – Becoming familiar with the patterns and terms listed here will help expedite your process. Reviewing this video is helpful as the Cycle of Addiction is covered in your workbook. Please see the Cycle of Addiction and Recovery pdf in the attachments.
  9. 12 Cycle of Recovery – Dr. Laaser’s Cycle of Recovery offers a refreshing contrast to the Cycle of Addiction.  Both cycles illustrate behavioral progression, but Laaser’s work in the Cycle of Recovery outlines the non-comprisable elements necessary to live in freedom every day.
  1. Workbook – LIFE Recovery Guide for Addictive Behaviors (including 16 presentations of SA): I recommend purchasing the hardcopy vs ebook available on Amazon.  See the LIFE Sample Pack pdf attached for the first Principle and Assignment homework.
  2. LIFE Grieving Guide – available on Amazon. This workbook-style guide contains 12 lessons … Lesson 1: Preparing to Grieve Lesson 2: Understanding and Expressing Our Emotions Lesson 3: Knowing What to Expect Lesson 4: Accepting the Pain of Recovery Lesson 5: Changing Your Routine & Tips for Healthy Grieving Lesson 6: Addressing Your Pain Lesson 7: Grieving the Loss of Control Lesson 8: Grieving Your Losses, Dreams & Desires Lesson 9: Grieving Losses in My Relationships Lesson 10: Grieving to the Core Lesson 11: Grieving Well: Reclaiming Your Value Lesson 12: Healing From Here to There
  1. Second Tuesday Workshops (2T) God’s Design for Sexual Intimacy (GDS) and Sexual Development (SD) workshops alternate each month, see this link for Registration.
    1. GDS – This workshop begins our discussion based on God’s design for sexual intimacy through neurobiological pursuit and reward and our two pleasure systems.  God intentionally designed the intensity of the endorphin rush, the four parts of the brain that decrease and the resultant purely transcendent bliss.  All this begins with the building of our arousal template, our sexual belief system.  This workshop addresses optimal function and dysfunction, missing the mark and adolescent impaired judgment, and concludes with God’s highest and best design, paralleling the one flesh union with God’s presence.
    2. SD – this workshop addresses the necessity of developing a safe and shame free approach for talking about sex that values and guards the arousal template (sexual belief system) throughout life and covers the five dimensions of development (physical, emotional, relational, personal and spiritual) from birth through adulthood covering each age group’s developmental tasks, a parent’s primary tasks, a healthy sexuality checklist and areas of caution. Whether participating as an individual or parent you will better understand the development of your own arousal template.
  2. Third Wednesday Workshops (3W) are new to FMM’s workshop services.  On the third Wednesday we are combining efforts to equip facilitators and anyone with a desire to learn more on post traumatic growth principles with Q & A discussion of the IDentity Agreement, the Cycle of Addiction, the Cycle of Recovery and the premier of the Vision Storyboard and Mission Statement workshops.  (Registration Link)
  3. Reflective Listening Workshops:  – Enhance your emotional resilience skills!  All developmental research indicates that emotions play a foundational role in either resilience or problematic sexual behaviors.  Learn to express feelings and process pain giving the intellectual system an opportunity to choose for long term gain vs short term relief.  Navigating through negative emotions is paramount to managing unwanted behaviors.  (Registration Link)
  4. Associate Study Certificate (ASC) – The vision of the Affiliate Program is to replicate and equip for service.  The ASC offers small group Q & A discussions of CIAR training content broken down into weekly sessions.
  5. Recommended Reading – Please see this categorized Recommended Reading page full of resources relevant to addiction, trauma, recovery, sexual intimacy and wholeness.
  6. Relay Peer Support & Accountability App … content removed for confidentiality purposes
    1. North America Group:
    2. Int’l Group: