Restoring Intimacy in Your Marriage
Healing from Betrayal Trauma and Restoring Intimacy Spouses Recovery Program
The Journey to Healing After Betrayal
Learning of your spouse’s sexual addiction or unwanted sexual behaviors can be traumatic. At Forgiven Much Ministries, we understand the deep pain of betrayal and offer a Christ-centered approach to healing, restoring trust, and rebuilding intimacy in your marriage.
Supporting Spouses Through Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Spouses Facilitator – spouses@forgivenmuchministries.org
Your Recovery Journey Begins Here
With all sincerity, we are delighted to walk alongside you and watch the Lord work in your life; there is so much hope for renewal! On this page are important links that we will revisit many times. Please do not let this long list overwhelm you.
- Please order your Workbook – LIFE Recovery Guide for Spouses. We recommend purchasing the hardcopy vs ebook available on Amazon.
The Group Process
We welcome new members at the opening of the group and then follow with a few readings (Group Covenant, Safety Guidelines, Nehemiah Principles, Definitions) and then share insights from our homework. During the second hour we share a Reflective Listening exercise (either for that day or week) on a situation or relationship that is currently challenging us. This helps to both practice processing and to “Get Current” with one another. We close the group with our Top Lines (what we are shooting for that week), Bottom Lines (what we’re staying away from) and Sobriety; those definitions are in the back of the workbook. All of this will be modeled and we give lots of grace in case you are uncomfortable with the “newness.”
5 Minute Daily Check-in Calls: Each day, you’ll connect with a partner for a quick check-in call using the Basic Reflective Listening format. These short conversations help you practice emotional resilience, grow comfortable being truly known, and develop supportive friendships. By building trust during everyday moments, you’ll be ready to lean on one another when life feels heavy. Daily Call Card
For Married Group Members: Please note that submitting a completed Couples Relationship Commitment Agreement at the time of group entry and a Sexual Abstinence Period & Marital Contract (implemented during Principle 4 Assignment 1) are vital for creating a safe environment for personal recovery growth and restoring healthy intimacy in marriages. Please read this article from the Laasers regarding the Sexual Abstinence Contract. Check out FANOS, a couple’s daily communication exercise to rebuild trust and intimacy.
Please save this webpage link, if you print it as a pdf the hyperlinks should remain live. Refer to it whenever you are led. We pray that you tap into the rich resources the Lord has made available to you. Again, we couldn’t be more delighted about connecting you with the group. Let us know if we can help in any way.
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Process
As a prerequisite to joining group, please read and forward a signed copy of FMM’s Group Covenant to your facilitator. Please complete the Coping Methods Inventory below and also view videos #5, #6, #7 and #8 according to the timeline that your Onboarding coach has outlined. We recommend multiple views of the LRM and Reflective Listening (RL) Exercise videos and printing the RL pdfs that are linked to its webpage.
Thank you! May God bless you exceedingly abundantly on your journey to wholeness!
Restoring Intimacy Through Education
FMM Workshops & Other Resources
Second Tuesday (2T) Workshops, from February through November, you have access to FMM’s signature skill, the Reflective Listening Exercise, for increased emotional resilience. All developmental research indicates that emotions play a foundational role in either resilience or problematic sexual behaviors. You will learn to express feelings and process pain, allowing the intellectual system to choose for long-term gain vs short-term relief. Navigating through negative emotions is paramount to managing unwanted behaviors. Our new Reflective Listening video series “breaks down” the learning process into segments for enhanced understanding. Most importantly, viewers now have a sample video of the Advanced RL worksheet to guide them through each step of the exercise, allowing them to pause and review their own worksheet. The RL Workshops guide participants through Advanced RL Implementation. Registration required.
GCS Wednesdays For the Winter/Spring and Summer/Fall semesters, FMM offers Gospel Centered Sexuality (GCS), its newest curriculum for the body of Christ. Raising up the next generation to stand for Gospel centered sexuality requires that this generation be equipped to confidently articulate their stance on God’s design for sexuality (supported by science) that enables them to not only provide responses beyond the “the bible says so” but “why” God designed it so. This goes beyond the basic male/female stance to God’s relational design, presence and wholeness and sets the stage for healthy sexual development. All this starts with a conversation – yours.
Associate Study Certificate (ASC) – The vision of the Affiliate Program is to replicate and equip for service. The ASC offers both self-paced and small group cohorts with Q & A discussions of CIAR training content broken down into weekly sessions. Classes start in January and run through October with 8 weeks of breaks in the spring and summer. Choose between a 12 noon or 7pm class. Check out these ASC Student Comments.
Recommended Reading – Please see this categorized Recommended Reading page full of resources relevant to addiction, trauma, recovery, sexual intimacy and wholeness. https://www.forgivenmuchministries.org/resources
Healing Resources for Betrayal Trauma
- https://www.forgivenmuchministries.org/ – Please review the ministry’s website; it’s pretty cool to see how the Lord has poured into this work over the years (i.e. problematic sexual behaviors, sex trafficking/demand reduction and God’s Design for Sexual Intimacy etc.).
- Free SAST – This Sexual Addiction Screening Test is the longstanding tool used and created by the clinical community. Please download the pdf at the top right of the page, complete, scan and or take a photo and send to SueMoore@ForgivenMuchMinistries.org.
- USB Assessment – This Unwanted Sexual Behaviors Assessment will prove valuable as a tool to escalate your recovery as it provides vital family of origin information regardless of the type of unwanted behaviors present. The USB Assessment is $29 and the information is well worth the expense. Once completed, please forward your results to SueMoore@ForgivenMuchMinistries.org for assistance translating your assessment and developing your recovery plan next steps.
- Core Issue Addiction Recovery Video Library – There are complete instructions for watching the videos to understand the format and layout of the videos for optimal use. The Neurobiology of Addiction videos help us understand the origin of anxiety underlying problematic behaviors. Below are basic video recommendations beneficial to expedite recovery:
- IDentity Agreement – This video gives a spiritual perspective of a person’s life, a road map so to speak. We’ll start by thinking about our identity from God’s perspective. Then we’ll see Satan’s influence through the impact of our double-mindedness, our interpretation of experiences through our neurological, physical and emotional lens. Whose perspective will we chose to believe? Sometimes we align with God’s perspective and sometimes Satan’s. You get to choose your identity agreement.
- 00.1 Core Issue Addiction Recovery (CIAR) Introductory Video – Explains the differences in recovery models.
- 00.3 LRM – L.I.F.E. Recovery Model – Will outline what can be expected on the trauma model/core issue addiction recovery journey to wholeness and 00.4 LRM Evaluation Tool
- 00.5 Reflective Listening Exercise – This exercise is vital to recovery and will be reinforced throughout your journey to obtain healthy intimacy and emotional resilience skills. Please see the Reflective Listening instructions, single worksheet, boundaries, desires and emotions with intensifiers in the link provided along with other communication resources.
- 05 Cycle of Addiction (full video) – Becoming familiar with the patterns and terms listed here will help expedite your process. Reviewing this video is helpful as the Cycle of Addiction is covered in your workbook. Please see the Cycle of Addiction and Recovery pdf in the attachments.
- 12 Cycle of Recovery – Dr. Laaser’s Cycle of Recovery offers a refreshing contrast to the Cycle of Addiction. Both cycles illustrate behavioral progression, but Laaser’s work in the Cycle of Recovery outlines the non-comprisable elements necessary to live in freedom every day.
- LIFE Grieving Guide – This workbook-style guide contains 12 lessons … Lesson 1: Preparing to Grieve Lesson 2: Understanding and Expressing Our Emotions Lesson 3: Knowing What to Expect Lesson 4: Accepting the Pain of Recovery Lesson 5: Changing Your Routine & Tips for Healthy Grieving Lesson 6: Addressing Your Pain Lesson 7: Grieving the Loss of Control Lesson 8: Grieving Your Losses, Dreams & Desires Lesson 9: Grieving Losses in My Relationships Lesson 10: Grieving to the Core Lesson 11: Grieving Well: Reclaiming Your Value Lesson 12: Healing From Here to There
Restoring Intimacy in Marriage After Betrayal
Discovering your spouse’s unwanted sexual behaviors can shatter trust and intimacy in your marriage. At Forgiven Much Ministries, we understand that rebuilding intimacy requires healing from betrayal trauma first. Our Christ-centered approach helps spouses:
Process Betrayal Trauma
Before intimacy can be restored, the trauma of betrayal must be addressed. Our program provides a safe environment to process pain, grief, and anger with others who understand your experience.
Establish Healthy Boundaries
Learning to create and maintain healthy boundaries is essential for healing. We help you develop clear boundaries that protect your heart while allowing for the possibility of relationship restoration.
Develop Communication Skills
Through our Reflective Listening exercises, you’ll learn to express your feelings, needs, and concerns in ways that promote understanding and connection rather than conflict.
Rebuild Trust Gradually
Trust cannot be demanded or rushed. Our program helps you understand what trustworthy behavior looks like and how to recognize genuine change in your spouse.
Reclaim Your Identity
Many spouses of addicts struggle with questions about their value and worth. Our Christ-centered approach helps you reconnect with your true identity separate from your spouse’s behaviors.
Move Toward Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a personal journey that happens on your timeline. We provide biblical guidance on what forgiveness is (and isn’t) and how it can be part of your healing process.
Healing Testimonies from Spouse Recovery
“When I discovered my husband’s addiction, I felt completely alone, betrayed, and worthless. The trauma was overwhelming. Finding FMM’s spouse recovery group gave me a safe place to process my pain with others who truly understood. Through their Christ-centered approach, I’ve found healing from betrayal trauma and we’re slowly rebuilding intimacy in our marriage built on truth and genuine connection.”
Begin Your Healing Journey Today
You are not alone in your journey through betrayal trauma. There is hope for healing, restoration, and renewed intimacy through Christ-centered recovery.